Confrontation

What do you do when you run into a major point of contention in ministry?  It is a difficult question because of the people who are affected by our service.  Here are some basics to follow in navigating the hazards of strife.

First, is your issue addressed in the Word?  The things in the Word are black and white.  Either God allows and approves it or He doesn't.  What God approves, we approve, and what God forbids we forbid.  These things are non-negotiable.  We cannot compromise, even if it means we offend people or run afoul of what is culturally accepted.

What if the Word is silent?  I have yet to find an issue that is not addressed in the Word, so I have to say this is a question that comes for people looking for self justification.

Harder questions are found when they are based on relational and values differences.  Just because we call ourselves Christian doesn't mean we truly measure up to the standards of what God calls Christian.  These issues often cause us great stress and trouble.

Not everyone in the Church shares the same values.  This isn't a new problem, and I imagine it is something that has existed as long as there has been flesh on the earth.  Differing opinions of when a deviation from the truth becomes a lie, what constitutes theft, when not keeping one's word is acceptable, and so on.  Often I have heard that I was not walking in love or forgiveness when I have been forced to confront such departure from the standard of the Word.

Paul gives us great insight in how to deal with such matters.  He "calls a spade a spade" and reveals the biblical standard to which we must adhere, and held both the individuals and leadership accountable accordingly.  He advocates private confrontation followed by a witnessed confrontation.  If these do not produce repentance and a return to biblical standards, a public action is in order.  As a last resort, an obvious extreme action, the offender was to be excluded from fellowship for the sake of the body.

Now understand, the goal of any confrontation is reconciliation and restoration.  While we cannot guarantee that one who is in error will turn back to the truth, we must stay in position to restore those who do. 

Don't be afraid of confrontation, but make certain you get it right.  Approach every confrontation with prayer and discernment.  Rely on the power and leading of the Holy Spirit to guide your actions in love and compassion.  But, don't hesitate to confront the things that need to be addressed.

Let me give you an example.  A minister is in financial difficulty and asks to borrow $100.00 dollars from you.  In your compassion you loan him the money with the understanding that you will be repaid within 30 days.  By the end of the month you have received $75.00, and the minister apologizes profusely and promises to make good on the debt within two weeks.  It is the last you hear from him on the matter.  What are you to do?  If you immediately think forgiveness, I must ask, would you forgive it so easily if it was 100 times as much.  The principle of integrity and faithfulness is the same.  Even if you choose the course of forgiveness, you need to confront the offender.  If you don't, you become complicit in the crime.

The biblical pattern of Matthew 18 now comes into play.  1.  Go to the offender and confront him.  Ideally, this is where repentance happens, the debt is paid, and all is well with the world.  If not ... 2. Take a witness and once again confront the offender, presenting your case, and seeking reconciliation.  Again, ideally, repentance is the result.  If not ... 3.  Take it before the church, that is, bring the issue before the local church to which this person is connected.  This not only puts additional pressure on the offender, it gives more witnesses, gives more opportunity for discernment, and makes the Body aware of the problem.  If that still does not result in a change in behavior and satisfaction of the debt, the next thing to do is to act to exclude the offender from fellowship until they repent and reconcile.

This can seem harsh, can result in additional problems, and can be costly, which may be why so many people don't bother.  Ask yourself, do you love them enough to help them overcome their destructive and offensive behavior?  Do you care enough to turn them from their hellish path?

We need to be committed to upholding God's measure of a man's character, God's standard of morality, and godly integrity.  Together we can be a people of biblical values, of godly character, and of life God approves of.  May we pay the price of integrity ans see God pour out His favor on the Church as a result.

Cheer Them On

Some people in our lives just make our day.  They are beacons of faith and hope in our world.  When the turbulence of life becomes overwhelming, we look to them as the lighthouse of hope and find our way through the storm.  For us, Cliff and Christie Graham (http://unisonharvest.com/) are just those kind of people.

Cliff and Christie are missionaries to the youth of the world.  They design and build youth rooms in local churches, do youth conferences and camps internationally, and travel at breakneck speed around the globe for the sake of the Gospel.  They deserve to be in the category of heroes for their tenacity in the face of adversity, their passion in the midst of an ambivalent world, and for their unwavering commitment to take the Good News of the Gospel to those who are shaping the future.

I have watched them go through things that would have sidelined the average minister and bankrupted the common believer, but not them.  They clung to the truth of the Word, encouraged themselves in the faithfulness of God, and accomplished the impossible.  We love them as if they are our own family, because they are.  We have the same Father.

Pastors, believers, this is the kind of ministry that we should be supporting.  No they aren't celebrities, they don't have a mega-church, they don't do the Christian TV circuit, but they are getting the job done, just doing what Jesus called us to do.  If you get a chance, sit down with them, hear their heart, let them challenge you to a new level of faith, a new level of service, and a new perspective on what it means to take this Gospel to the nations.

Coastal Family Church

We got the chance to meet the folks at Coastal Family Church face-to-face for the first time. (http://www.coastalfamilychurch.com/main.html)  It was a time of encouragment in the Word and celebration in the Holy Ghost that made us feel right at home.  Pastors Stephen and Tiffany are leading a group of people who are sold out to seeing the Gospel taken to all the world while changing their local community.

We couldn't help but feel like we had been at CFC before due to its similarity to our home church, Believers Fellowship Center.  I found myself identifying individuals by the person who filled their role at BFC.  What you may not know is that BFC is our home, the root we cling to to measure whether or not we are staying on track.  They are the ones we identify with as family.  To have CFC feel so closely like our home before we have had a chance to put down roots in the OBX is to have a tie to our new community via DNA that can only happen via the Holy Ghost.  We look forward to what the future holds with these folks when we move.

If you get a chance to stop in or hear Pastor Stephen, jump on it.  You will be blessed.

Wonderful Wave Conference

We are just back from the Wave Conference in Virginia Beach. (http://wavechurch.com/index.aspx?parentnavigationid=1555) The conference featured great speakers and top of the line worship.  We were so encouraged, not just by the word and the worship, but also by the fellowship with people from across the country and around the world.  Speakers this year included:

• Judah Smith  (http://www.generationchurch.org/)
• Joel Houston  (http://www2.hillsong.com/default.asp)
• Bayliss Conley  (http://www.cottonwood.org/)
• Chris Hill  (http://www.chrishill.org/main.htm)
• Mark Crow (http://www.victorychurch.tv/p/5949/Default.aspx)
• Steve Kelly  (http://wavechurch.com/index.aspx?parentnavigationid=1555)
• Scott Wilson
• AND MORE!

Three cheers to Pastors Steve and Sharon Kelly and their team for a job well done on putting together a great conference in their new facility.  I know there were challenges, but you did a fantastic job.

Pastors Steve and Sharon have been providing leadership in Virginia Beach for ten years.  They have taken a wounded church, brought healing and infused it with life through sharing a vision that is bigger than this church has ever been.  They didn't stop with the vision, they have gone on to build a team that has provided the leadership that it has taken to lift this church to greatness.  I like something Pastor Steve said this week.  "Don't try and build a great church, build great people.  A great church is the fruit of great people."

Having been in lots of churches over the course of the past year, it was a refreshing time to be back at the Wave Church.  They are friends and families to us and always make our visit full of life and encouragement.

I would invite you to make plans now for next year's Wave Conference.  It well be held August 5-7, 2009.  You can register now by calling (757)481-5005.  See you there!

What Makes A Church Worthwhile?

My wife and I were talking yesterday about what it is that keeps people hooked up to a church.  If you know us you might not be surprised that we have very differing views on many subjects, Lynn being a "Purple" person and me being "Crimson Red," but on this we have agreement.  People hook up with a church that touches their deepest needs, the needs of the inner man.

My mother-in-law feels the need to be brow beaten and told what a sinner she is, thus she is drawn to those who preach a fiery message of damnation and judgment.  My brother is eagerly anticipating the end of the world and is drawn to those who claim a special prophetic anointing.  I myself am drawn to those who preach "the whole counsel of God", that is, the Bible "from Genesis to Maps" as my pastor used to say.  I want practical Christian teaching for practical Christian living.

I was listening to Joel Osteen the other day and realized what it is that draws tens of thousands to his church.  Joel is an encourager, a cheerleader of champions.  After being under his ministry you feel like you can take on the devil, overcome temptation, and even walk on water if the need arose.  Isn't this what church is about?  Anyone can tell you you're a sinner, and it wouldn't even be a revelation.  All have sinned, and all know it.  The question is, who can give you a cure and lead you out to victorious Christian living?

Sometimes I come out of a service and wonder why people go to the church I just visited?  The pastor may say what the Bible says, but he says it with condemnation or condescension and you come away feeling depressed, beat down, and defeated.  Another minister can say the same thing with a different attitude and bring you to the place where you feel like you can overcome, be victorious, and live the life God intended.  Pastors, which message are you preaching?

I have come to really enjoy the ministry of Keith Moore. (www.moorelifeministries.org) He doesn't mince words when talking about sin, but he gives you what you need to beat it.  When I get to preach, that is my goal as well.  I like hanging out with people like this, people who build up, lift up, and encourage from a genuine heart of love and compassion.  To me, these are the real world changers.

How does Jesus fit into all this?  I'm glad you asked!  If you look at the ministry of Jesus you see Him dealing with three groups:  unbelievers, the "traditional" church, and His disciples.  The only people he is consistently hard on is the "traditional" church.  They were supposed to be the ones giving people what they needed, and instead were blocking people's access to God and keeping them down and depressed.  Jesus gave the masses clear teaching that inspired them to rise to a level that was foreign to them, a level that was far above where they lived, but not unattainable.  He called on them to become what God had created them to be in the first place.  His disciples got a powerful look at both the teaching and how to walk it out as they lived with Jesus day in and day out.  Now it is our turn.

Pastors, be the beacon of hope to your sheep.  Take your staff to a place of transparency where they can see you walk out the principles you are teaching.  Build into your church a culture that sees those who are unbelievers as people worth pursuing.  Go out where they are and let them know what God has for them.  Let them hear the "Good News" that gives them hope and draws them to levels of life that they have never known before.  And, oh yes, take a stand against anything in religion that blocks access to the presence, love, and blessing of the Father.  Remember, Jesus died to give us free and unfettered access, don't be trying to rehang the veil that keeps people from God.  We need not not compromise the message, after all, the whole earth is "groaning in eager expectation waiting for the sons of God to be revealed."  You are the hope and inspiration of a world out of control.  They are looking for your leadership, go get 'em!